the gathering concern

just before sunset, Sunshine finally shows up. almost three hours late. alone.

she slides in across from me at the picnic table and roots around in her purse; all pastey and shakey curtained by liquored-out hair.

'so, where is he?' i finally have to ask.

"not coming."

'not coming. this is unbelievable.'

she gives me the sideways death stare.

'what went wrong?'

"you don't want to know." she indicates a crushed cigarette. "gotta' light?"

'no. i quit.'

"i liked you better when you smoked."

'what's the difference?'

"all the eye contact."

i take a deep breath. 'you know, there's an envelope to all this. to their patience.' i try to make it even-handed, 'everyone is aware you're under pressure Sunshine, but there is gathering concern...'

no reaction unless you count the predictable stonewall. a heavy silence crept over the deserted parkette. mastering my panic ins't one of my strengths and she knows it. i crack as per usual.

'we're fucked now, you realize that? it's complete calamity. are you registering this Sun? please, tell me what you think my options are.'

"yes!" flourishing a found match she ignites her 100. "don't be so dire Siggie. it makes you unattractive. life is a comedy remember? you used to say that."

'please, just tell me what went wrong. tell me something i can tell them.'

she laughs out a smoke plume. "tell them it was food poisoning."