better you try to kill me

[could i implore you to try not to make your living off of cartoon interpretations? wouldn't it be better to try to engage an actual narrative?]*

why is it that the only satisfaction i can get is to impugn another's output? or that's all i remember doing. anyway, in conversations is where i'd rather lay my stake. in thought and solitude, im a disaster. please don't you judge my sad output. i am a good soldier.

i don't want to hurt your feelings so bad you'd want to quit everything we've invented. i don't want you to hurt so bad you'd choose to just quit and be over everything.

maybe i wish i could always be your special project. maybe i don't like having to pay off. but isn't that what you like? being a little better than me?

are you sitting there right now, feeling like everything you've ever done is just shit and mud? and haven't you come home every night from bottles and cheating, wishing to be found out, to be discovered, so the decision would be made for you? haven't you wanted to stop living with your lies and secrets and supressed designs? haven't you thought that i would be the one to make you choose?


*im unhappy with this, but it's close enough.