'first, do no harm', is how it was put to Benny by Dread Cardinal Allin during basic training. First principles. you do not want to fuck someone else up. That is the premise that ought to guide us, he thought. Another way he heard it was, 'we make our own monsters'. But what words can defuse our need for revenge? When the worst has been done to us... or anything that hurts. Who sees themself as a monster anyway? Doesn't everyone have a story? Isn't it, in the end, what you can live with? Would you want me dead if it meant solace from devastation?
What can you hope for? What fucking principle tells us anything we can actually fucking use? Yet, today -- he understood like a man should understand -- it was his turn to pay. With each slug of whiskey this became more apparent. Until he had decided that it was practically incumbent upon him to seek out fucking actual, tangible judgement. Passions rule. Plain and simple.
Luckily, he passed out in the ditch before he agented these mortal impusles. For all of us there is doubt and a pure fucking moment when we percieve everything we'll never have. And you can blame your lover, or your position, or your time. And who'd blame you if you fucking snap and freak the fuck out? All those fucking scientific laws of attraction and gravity and never any fucking mention of what it feels like to get fucked for real.
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