1000 blown out (candles)

sometimes i think that hiccups were invented by the same Force that created ice cream headache attacks. Some 9th circle bumbling geist, sentenced to the terrestrial plane as punishment for an astral level transgression. doomed to stew their pernicious powers in the tiny tin chamber pot we call humanity. talk about being underused; i imagine their sole pleasure comes in wreaking such minor havoc. I think these may also be the same devilish agents that discovered nails-on-chalkboard, the styrofoam squeak and red wine hangovers. weaklings are always so vindictive after punishment.