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benny and f.w. as they prepare to eat their take-out meals

Alright, get ready to lose.

It’s not a competition, man.

Sure it isn’t. You know, that’s your problem dude.

What’s my problem?

That’s your problem. That’s why you’re not going anywhere. You don’t get that everything is a competition.

Take-out food is a competition? How are we keeping score exactly? Biggest mouthful? Fewest chews? Most efficient heimlich?

You see, you mock because you don't understand.

Well, maybe we’re just different. You ever think about that?

No. We’re all the same. Until you learn to accept that, you’ll always be a loser.

How come you seem to know so much about me?

You know, while you sit around all day thinking about black holes and gluons and the meaning of nothingness or whatever the fuck it is you think about, I’m out there fucking getting laid and making money and getting it all set up. Why the fuck do you think you’re so unhappy all the time?

I’m not.

You totally are. You’re a fucking drag all the time these days. And you know why?

I’m sure you’re going to tell me.

Fucking right I am. Because you’re not getting fucking laid is why. When’s the last time you had sex?

I don’t know.

You don’t know? You don’t know. How can you not know? You know when’s the last time I got laid? Right before I fucking came over here.

Sure you did.

Fuck off. Look, remember that last girl, whatshername?

Yeah.

What do you think she’s doing right now?

Getting laid.

Exactly. And what are you doing right now?

Not getting laid.

So you see my point young grasshopper?

Yeah, I guess I do. You're saying that everything is meaningless without love.

Jesus christ, you really are an idiot.