lie down cub

I’m trying to make you a CD, right now. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks. Slowly assembling the bits of music I have. It’s a frustrating limitation. And for this CD, there can be no limits. I want to put everything on it. All songs. Not just the ones I’ve got. All of them. It would be the complete mixed CD. It would last forever but still have endings. We'd never have to make up our minds.

I can’t stand how good I Walk The Line is. So resolved. The inmates howling. Then later, ‘I shot a man in Reno/Just to watch him die’.

Now I’m on the phone with you and you just said “I can’t wait !”

I thought a good way to arrange the songs would be ascending, then descending, order of key. Aminor, Bmajor, Cmajor etc. Or whatever. I’m not sure how keys work exactly. I’ve always just put my fingers where it sounds good.

We floated the idea of going to Dunnville. But I can’t decide on even one song yet. Each one is a doorway, each one is the veldt. Without the lions. Ok, with the lions too.

It seems I’ll just have to copy Nebraska in its entirety.

Sorry, the key thing is out of reach. I really wanted it to happen. But that’s what makes me average.

The CD should be about you, but right now it’s a huge struggle. The fog of me. Maybe I’m too concerned about plot here. And what will be the hidden track? And what about songs I know you already know? Do they go on as clever tugs, the shared stories you forgot I knew? Or is it a combo CD? A challenge, then a balm. Definitely Fade to Black goes on. But this first one is killing me.

I got the first one. Now I’m staring out the long window imagining you're driving on the highway with this song playing. Awesome. There’s no way to follow it. ... I’m gonna’ try.

Christ, this is like Fermat’s Enigma. Just reeled off six in a row and then my proofs collapsed.

It’s criminal that I don’t own any Credence. Not even a Greatest Hits. Shame. And my Roy Orbison is scratched and I don’t have the Kings of Leon. Or Iron Maiden.

Thirty, desultory minutes have expired, and then suddenly a wave of purpose. If only you knew the bold move I am considering!

Finally, I had to just bear down and get it done. So this is it. This is the CD. Full-on 80 minutes. Maxed it out, for you. I hope you like it. I’m working on the second volume as I write this. The first song is killing me. You’ll be here any minute. Maybe we can listen to it in your car...