Friday, April 29, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
reversals
benny is so wasted that he can't say anything but 'drugs'.
we're laughing but then he turns to me and manages:
"do you think she loves me?"
the laughing still goes on, but he's got this ashen look and i realize that the only way to save him is to tell him the truth.
"no."
when i get up off the sticky floor, benny is gone and everyone is looking at me like it's my fault.
we're laughing but then he turns to me and manages:
"do you think she loves me?"
the laughing still goes on, but he's got this ashen look and i realize that the only way to save him is to tell him the truth.
"no."
when i get up off the sticky floor, benny is gone and everyone is looking at me like it's my fault.
how she loves me.
oh how i love the smell
of the abattoir
oh how i love my job.
ain't it great
to hear them talk
about, giving back
to those without.
oh how i love the abattoir.
the rendering of meaning
is plain. oh how i love
the end of dreams
of the abattoir
oh how i love my job.
ain't it great
to hear them talk
about, giving back
to those without.
oh how i love the abattoir.
the rendering of meaning
is plain. oh how i love
the end of dreams
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
after all
i wish i could learn to say the things i say but differently. like with humour or quality of writing.
how did dfw write all of that? so much writing... i cant even get one line i like. no wonder he hung himself. it was like pushing away darkness. no way he could keep that up.
i'm funding a rehearsal space for priddle. only $300. and ostensibly i'm also able to go there. presumably to rediscover some latent amazing talent heretofore unexplored in enough depth.
i'm tired but i cant sleep.
how did dfw write all of that? so much writing... i cant even get one line i like. no wonder he hung himself. it was like pushing away darkness. no way he could keep that up.
i'm funding a rehearsal space for priddle. only $300. and ostensibly i'm also able to go there. presumably to rediscover some latent amazing talent heretofore unexplored in enough depth.
i'm tired but i cant sleep.
strike the match
you get older, you get fewer friends
you get older, the few get deeper
the breakups early in life,
you really regret those.
but you cant stop it
life divides you from the things you love
and it drives us into things we don't
we get it hard and lose it easy
you get older, the few get deeper
the breakups early in life,
you really regret those.
but you cant stop it
life divides you from the things you love
and it drives us into things we don't
we get it hard and lose it easy
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 04, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
keep your powder dry
he says, even tho three amigos is a success story, it is a cautionary tale i think. altho, i think they knew that when they made it
she snaps her flip phone shut: all i'm sayin is id like to appreciate things on their own merits again
he's figuring she's just another shallow type so he gives her the pop quiz:
best pretender's song.
the wait
(wow. the best i thought she'd do was pack it up. good one)
best iggy pop song.
pumping for jill, obvi
(seriously?! this could be love)
best zeppelin?
down by the seaside
(shit this girl is out of my league)
free style: best songs.
that feel. dont forget me. guilty. jigsaw puzzle.
...
she reached across my trance and fished out a Light from my breast pocket.
"i'm goin for a smoke; you wanna look at guitars or something?"
the thing about women is that you can't ever be one of them. that's the only way you'd ever figure it out. they're just like foxes or pyramids or comets. everything about them is obvious, but it's always the opposite at the same time.
anyway, i got my jacket and found her in the alcove of the guitar shop. i pulled out the dugout and we looked at guitars and passed the cherry back and forth.
i knew she was looking past the window display at the SG jr hanging just inside streetlamp light behind the cash register. so much of life is about still moments.
just before she catches me looking at her in the window reflection i turn away.
(shortly thereafter the world ends. or this is part of some other story?)
she snaps her flip phone shut: all i'm sayin is id like to appreciate things on their own merits again
he's figuring she's just another shallow type so he gives her the pop quiz:
best pretender's song.
the wait
(wow. the best i thought she'd do was pack it up. good one)
best iggy pop song.
pumping for jill, obvi
(seriously?! this could be love)
best zeppelin?
down by the seaside
(shit this girl is out of my league)
free style: best songs.
that feel. dont forget me. guilty. jigsaw puzzle.
...
she reached across my trance and fished out a Light from my breast pocket.
"i'm goin for a smoke; you wanna look at guitars or something?"
the thing about women is that you can't ever be one of them. that's the only way you'd ever figure it out. they're just like foxes or pyramids or comets. everything about them is obvious, but it's always the opposite at the same time.
anyway, i got my jacket and found her in the alcove of the guitar shop. i pulled out the dugout and we looked at guitars and passed the cherry back and forth.
i knew she was looking past the window display at the SG jr hanging just inside streetlamp light behind the cash register. so much of life is about still moments.
just before she catches me looking at her in the window reflection i turn away.
(shortly thereafter the world ends. or this is part of some other story?)
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
no title yet. working on it.
sometimes i think maybe its a weakness, but one thing i'm good at is giving myself reasons not to worry about going to work.
How to get the inflation of youth experience under contra
Harassed by pre teens in the subway
One little troll rolled up a Metro and threatened to stab me with it;
leads to variant response fantasy and exasperation with everything.
hates to admit when ____likes anything. like, scared to give away any part of himself. like, he's got no value by liking popular things.
in secret he thrilled to his obscure vicesexpression.
the only thing drinking is good for is perfect dwelling in what's gone. but for everything else, drinking is not so good for.
still, if you really want to, you can dwell safely until you die. slowly die.
went by the bar after work. was a girl there with the same eyes as carla. those coal black liquid eyes. i figured out how to look at them without her seeing me i think.
felt again like i couldn't let go.
____x was there. she looked great. she hugged me and my earlobes were ice cold. her cheek pressed against one and she remarked on it.
what's real and what isn't doesn't change does it?
keith richards is great, but he's got some dogs. "take it so hard" is not one of them.
One little troll rolled up a Metro and threatened to stab me with it;
leads to variant response fantasy and exasperation with everything.
hates to admit when ____likes anything. like, scared to give away any part of himself. like, he's got no value by liking popular things.
in secret he thrilled to his obscure vicesexpression.
the only thing drinking is good for is perfect dwelling in what's gone. but for everything else, drinking is not so good for.
still, if you really want to, you can dwell safely until you die. slowly die.
went by the bar after work. was a girl there with the same eyes as carla. those coal black liquid eyes. i figured out how to look at them without her seeing me i think.
felt again like i couldn't let go.
____x was there. she looked great. she hugged me and my earlobes were ice cold. her cheek pressed against one and she remarked on it.
what's real and what isn't doesn't change does it?
keith richards is great, but he's got some dogs. "take it so hard" is not one of them.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Sunday, January 02, 2011
Winter
he ran to catch up to her. she stopped and they faced each other, him leaning in, suddenly arrested.
why? what did i do?
she said, i think it's lame that you made the Goat's Head Soup album cover your Facebook photo.
he shook his head and the honesty in his face made her think twice.
she touched his chin and he lifted his eyes to hers. she says, "because that record's so conflicted. It's the end of the Stones and in a way, the end of truth. And you think you can use all that as your avatar? You're just like the rest of them. Making yourself by your associations.
He was dumbfounded. But she had a point.
why? what did i do?
she said, i think it's lame that you made the Goat's Head Soup album cover your Facebook photo.
he shook his head and the honesty in his face made her think twice.
she touched his chin and he lifted his eyes to hers. she says, "because that record's so conflicted. It's the end of the Stones and in a way, the end of truth. And you think you can use all that as your avatar? You're just like the rest of them. Making yourself by your associations.
He was dumbfounded. But she had a point.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
ride on
a guy got upset at a girl and threw sugar packets at her and then knocked over his drink, spit on her table and stormed outside. everyone watched but no one moved. then he banged on the window right by her view and pantomimed being stabbed hard in the chest. her date pretended not to notice all of it. finally the bartender went outside and called him to account so he ran.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
ok, then this is gonna go on for awhile.
Pumpin' for Jill 4:33 Iggy Pop Party
The Wait 3:34 Pretenders Pretenders (Remastered)
Requiem for Man and Family 2:34 Andre Ethier With Christopher Sandes Featuring Pickles and Price
No Action 2:01 Elvis Costello This Year's Model
Hangin' 'Round (Acoustic Demo Version) 3:56 Lou Reed Transformer
Downhill Is Downtown 3:49 Deep Dark United Zettel
My Family 1:46 Jay Reatard Blood Visions
Shower of Stones 3:05 Constantines Kensington Heights
I'll Be Your Man 2:21 The Black Keys The Big Come Up
No Pussy Blues 4:21 Grinderman Grinderman
Dead Seeds 3:40 Rocket From The Crypt Group Sounds
Oh, It’s Such a Shame 3:55 Deerhunter Fluorescent Grey / Oh, It's Such a Shame - Single
True Love Will Find You In the End 1:51 Daniel Johnston 1990
Hand Srings 2:59 The White Stripes Promo
Choice Blanket 5:11 The Sea and Cake The Sea and Cake
Wilmington 3:22 Girls Against Boys House Of GVSB
I Think I'm In Love 8:10 Spiritualized Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space
Long Distance Drunk 3:43 Modest Mouse Lonesome Crowded West
You Win Again 4:31 Keith Richards Timeless - Hank Williams Tribute
People Change 2:55 Nick Lowe At My Age
Trying to Live My Life Without You 3:24 Brinsley Schwarz Surrender to the Rhythm
Guilty 2:34 Randy Newman Good Old Boys
Weedking 2:39 Guided By Voices Propeller
These Days 3:29 Glen Campbell Greatest Hits
Thirteen 2:35 Big Star #1 Record/Radio City
'39 3:31 Queen A Night at the Opera
If Not for You 3:34 George Harrison All Things Must Pass (30th Anniversary Edition) [Remastered]
Let Her Dance 2:35 Bobby Fuller Four Rhino Hi-Five: The Bobby Fuller Four - EP
Under My Thumb 3:42 The Rolling Stones Aftermath (UK Version) [Remastered]
Vicious 2:57 Lou Reed Transformer
Antenna 6:13 Sonic Youth The Eternal
Why I Didn't Like August 93 2:14 Elevator to Hell Parts 1-3
People Are Leaving 2:38 Robert Pollard Waved Out
Mannequin 2:37 Wire Pink Flag
Black Nite Crash 2:34 Ride Tarantula
Never Mind 2:51 The Replacements Pleased to Meet Me
Stay With Me 4:39 Faces A Nod Is as Good as a Wink...To a Blind Horse
Cortez the Killer 7:31 Neil Young Zuma
Lazy Line Painter Jane 5:51 Belle & Sebastian Lazy Line Painter Jane
Hey Joe 3:30 The Jimi Hendrix Experience Are You Experienced
The Backseat 4:22 The Gaslight Anthem The '59 Sound
Honest James 3:50 Thurston Moore Trees Outside the Academy
A More Perfect Union 7:10 Titus Andronicus The Monitor
Yeah We Know 5:25 Dinosaur Jr. Bug
In the Light 8:47 Led Zeppelin Physical Graffiti (Remastered)
The Wait 3:34 Pretenders Pretenders (Remastered)
Requiem for Man and Family 2:34 Andre Ethier With Christopher Sandes Featuring Pickles and Price
No Action 2:01 Elvis Costello This Year's Model
Hangin' 'Round (Acoustic Demo Version) 3:56 Lou Reed Transformer
Downhill Is Downtown 3:49 Deep Dark United Zettel
My Family 1:46 Jay Reatard Blood Visions
Shower of Stones 3:05 Constantines Kensington Heights
I'll Be Your Man 2:21 The Black Keys The Big Come Up
No Pussy Blues 4:21 Grinderman Grinderman
Dead Seeds 3:40 Rocket From The Crypt Group Sounds
Oh, It’s Such a Shame 3:55 Deerhunter Fluorescent Grey / Oh, It's Such a Shame - Single
True Love Will Find You In the End 1:51 Daniel Johnston 1990
Hand Srings 2:59 The White Stripes Promo
Choice Blanket 5:11 The Sea and Cake The Sea and Cake
Wilmington 3:22 Girls Against Boys House Of GVSB
I Think I'm In Love 8:10 Spiritualized Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space
Long Distance Drunk 3:43 Modest Mouse Lonesome Crowded West
You Win Again 4:31 Keith Richards Timeless - Hank Williams Tribute
People Change 2:55 Nick Lowe At My Age
Trying to Live My Life Without You 3:24 Brinsley Schwarz Surrender to the Rhythm
Guilty 2:34 Randy Newman Good Old Boys
Weedking 2:39 Guided By Voices Propeller
These Days 3:29 Glen Campbell Greatest Hits
Thirteen 2:35 Big Star #1 Record/Radio City
'39 3:31 Queen A Night at the Opera
If Not for You 3:34 George Harrison All Things Must Pass (30th Anniversary Edition) [Remastered]
Let Her Dance 2:35 Bobby Fuller Four Rhino Hi-Five: The Bobby Fuller Four - EP
Under My Thumb 3:42 The Rolling Stones Aftermath (UK Version) [Remastered]
Vicious 2:57 Lou Reed Transformer
Antenna 6:13 Sonic Youth The Eternal
Why I Didn't Like August 93 2:14 Elevator to Hell Parts 1-3
People Are Leaving 2:38 Robert Pollard Waved Out
Mannequin 2:37 Wire Pink Flag
Black Nite Crash 2:34 Ride Tarantula
Never Mind 2:51 The Replacements Pleased to Meet Me
Stay With Me 4:39 Faces A Nod Is as Good as a Wink...To a Blind Horse
Cortez the Killer 7:31 Neil Young Zuma
Lazy Line Painter Jane 5:51 Belle & Sebastian Lazy Line Painter Jane
Hey Joe 3:30 The Jimi Hendrix Experience Are You Experienced
The Backseat 4:22 The Gaslight Anthem The '59 Sound
Honest James 3:50 Thurston Moore Trees Outside the Academy
A More Perfect Union 7:10 Titus Andronicus The Monitor
Yeah We Know 5:25 Dinosaur Jr. Bug
In the Light 8:47 Led Zeppelin Physical Graffiti (Remastered)
Monday, October 18, 2010
pits
sometimes i get the feeling that Benny's lost faith in himself. I don't know. It's like he runs everything he could like into the ground for any reason. But I've got my own problems so I don't spend much time trying to fix his. I think that's why we get along.
Tonight he's been drinking. It's early so he's only been putting down beers but if you know Benny you can see what's coming. Trouble is, this part's always really fun. And to get here, you sorta know you're going to have to go there.
So he's chatting up the bartender with his usual rhetoricals. ("___?") She sees me come in and I look down at my pockets so I can't aknowledge how she wants me to see her putting three bottles in the icebox for me. It's not that i don't like the attention; it's that i hate being a regular. You can fool yourself sometimes into thinking you and they have something going on, but after a while you have to admit you're just there to drink[pay]. Whatever else happens, losing the bar isn't up for discussion. So you try to not get involved too much.
Anyway, Benny doesn't worry about this shit; he's more of the sprung verse kind. Neatly switching the conversation to the books he knows or the obscure songs you don't, or whatever. Half the time he never remembers anything he says; i wish i was like that sometimes. i wish i could just let it all out. I guess that's why we get along.
Tonight he's been drinking. It's early so he's only been putting down beers but if you know Benny you can see what's coming. Trouble is, this part's always really fun. And to get here, you sorta know you're going to have to go there.
So he's chatting up the bartender with his usual rhetoricals. ("___?") She sees me come in and I look down at my pockets so I can't aknowledge how she wants me to see her putting three bottles in the icebox for me. It's not that i don't like the attention; it's that i hate being a regular. You can fool yourself sometimes into thinking you and they have something going on, but after a while you have to admit you're just there to drink[pay]. Whatever else happens, losing the bar isn't up for discussion. So you try to not get involved too much.
Anyway, Benny doesn't worry about this shit; he's more of the sprung verse kind. Neatly switching the conversation to the books he knows or the obscure songs you don't, or whatever. Half the time he never remembers anything he says; i wish i was like that sometimes. i wish i could just let it all out. I guess that's why we get along.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Thursday, October 07, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
she just didn't want to
ufc? you lie like a rug!
bullshit. i can name them all. fuckin ground and pound. silva taunts maia. gsp over koschek. the myth of pride. mir sux. lesnar gets on his wife. couture, penn, liddell, never doubt me. admit it!
...I didn't enjoy my night. i am a walking zombie. how was the meeting?
i didnt like her.
Why not? Did you at least get some?
she sucked my cock in the girl's bathroom.
thats it?
bullshit. i can name them all. fuckin ground and pound. silva taunts maia. gsp over koschek. the myth of pride. mir sux. lesnar gets on his wife. couture, penn, liddell, never doubt me. admit it!
...I didn't enjoy my night. i am a walking zombie. how was the meeting?
i didnt like her.
Why not? Did you at least get some?
she sucked my cock in the girl's bathroom.
thats it?
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
no pussy blues
yeah, he enjoyed the pics. I'm really setting myself up for heartache. ughhh. but i'm flattered that out of all the porn he could find out there, he wanted some pics of me. that's something. how do i sabotage his relationship?
Hey, young girls are a fucking pain. I know. I see it. I am one. you've already seen the pics i sent him. if you deleted them, well you're just a fool then.
You're having regular sex though? that is pretty special in my eyes. I really need to establish that while I continue to search for that right guy.
This guy I dumped is acting like an 18 y/o girl over our breakup. We were only together a month and he wanted me moving shit in and to have a key. This freaked me out...anyway, he's being mean and cold. it's making it waaaay easier on me. I know breaking up with him was the right thing to do.
okay, quickly, i need a decent topic to write about for my nazi/holocaust class!!!
Hey, young girls are a fucking pain. I know. I see it. I am one. you've already seen the pics i sent him. if you deleted them, well you're just a fool then.
You're having regular sex though? that is pretty special in my eyes. I really need to establish that while I continue to search for that right guy.
This guy I dumped is acting like an 18 y/o girl over our breakup. We were only together a month and he wanted me moving shit in and to have a key. This freaked me out...anyway, he's being mean and cold. it's making it waaaay easier on me. I know breaking up with him was the right thing to do.
okay, quickly, i need a decent topic to write about for my nazi/holocaust class!!!
Monday, September 27, 2010
sun glasses
a girl said to me the other afternoon, as we were talking about the sun setting early and the autumn darkness being deeper than the summer version, she said... the fall dark is my boyfriend.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
dont't waste it
i saw this girl in the lobby of my building. she was so impossible. i might as well have been dead.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Friday, September 03, 2010
waking up
let me get this straight: i drank 10 beers, did drugs, paid by credit, went to an orgy, quit my job and adopted a cat?
Friday, August 13, 2010
Sunday, August 08, 2010
pay per view
she exales perfectly, 'it just feels like you're trying too hard to make a record."
...
...
let her dance
they'd come to count
on cancellations.
there'd been a time
when they would all show up;
when they'd dance in kitchens,
with open eyes.
she's back from new york
and they should see each other.
isn't it good to go back
after it's over, before
it ends?
you could.
but you don't.
on cancellations.
there'd been a time
when they would all show up;
when they'd dance in kitchens,
with open eyes.
she's back from new york
and they should see each other.
isn't it good to go back
after it's over, before
it ends?
you could.
but you don't.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
rollin rollin rollin
"people only play tenor guitars because people wont borrow them at drunken parties to play terrible green day songs"
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Saturday, May 08, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
hard-bitten loner
[edit. 1.0201]
Benny's been obsessed lately with Tennis. Specifically Ricardo González, aka "Pancho". He goes around these days carrying an old wood racquet and he's beening wearing the same white tennis shorts, wrist bands and stan smiths for two straight weeks. Still, his obsesssion with the game hasn't affected his drinking any.
I walk into the bar after work and Benny's sitting in his usual spot and he's in the middle of one of his great "In Defense Of..." routines. The place is otherwise empty and the bartender is a new girl that doesn't know how to get out of the line of fire.
I pull up next to him and order a beer. Benny's got two modes of talking to women: lecture and complaint. Neither works particularly well but then you'd have to be a special kind of girl to really get him. There aren't many of those in the world.
Benny's in full stride:
-- Sure, Federer's amazing. I mean, he's AMAZING. but we're talking about a guy here who Sports Illustrated declared that if the world was in peril and humankind's very existence depended on the outcome of a tennis match, the man you want on the baseline would be Ricardo Alonso González.
I smile a little about this. Benny loves this line. LOVES it. He mixes up the quote as well; adding his little personal touches each time.
[TK]
Benny's been obsessed lately with Tennis. Specifically Ricardo González, aka "Pancho". He goes around these days carrying an old wood racquet and he's beening wearing the same white tennis shorts, wrist bands and stan smiths for two straight weeks. Still, his obsesssion with the game hasn't affected his drinking any.
I walk into the bar after work and Benny's sitting in his usual spot and he's in the middle of one of his great "In Defense Of..." routines. The place is otherwise empty and the bartender is a new girl that doesn't know how to get out of the line of fire.
I pull up next to him and order a beer. Benny's got two modes of talking to women: lecture and complaint. Neither works particularly well but then you'd have to be a special kind of girl to really get him. There aren't many of those in the world.
Benny's in full stride:
-- Sure, Federer's amazing. I mean, he's AMAZING. but we're talking about a guy here who Sports Illustrated declared that if the world was in peril and humankind's very existence depended on the outcome of a tennis match, the man you want on the baseline would be Ricardo Alonso González.
I smile a little about this. Benny loves this line. LOVES it. He mixes up the quote as well; adding his little personal touches each time.
[TK]
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Monday, February 08, 2010
Friday, February 05, 2010
what's up b?
ugh. i guess i'm listening to tom petty and that talking part to start Here Comes My Girl is how i want to speak.
yeah, or put on open all night.
yeah! fried chicken on the front seat.
wow, nice. you know it!
oh yeah.
so what else?
nah, i got nothin.
alright.
yeah, or put on open all night.
yeah! fried chicken on the front seat.
wow, nice. you know it!
oh yeah.
so what else?
nah, i got nothin.
alright.
you can't see
benny shows up with his pockets full of backstage passes. his army coat i notice is actually on fire. well, it's smoldering and he reeks.
= we can't serve you benny, you know that.
Candy's working and she'd normally slide benny a carbomb but they installed cameras over the break and now you can't do anything.
- just a half shot of bailey's Candy.
benny doesn't even look to see that she has to say no. that's what i like about him.
= we can't serve you benny, you know that.
Candy's working and she'd normally slide benny a carbomb but they installed cameras over the break and now you can't do anything.
- just a half shot of bailey's Candy.
benny doesn't even look to see that she has to say no. that's what i like about him.
Monday, February 01, 2010
iraqi styles
- Have you seen "Julia" with Tilda Swinton ?
-- no but i LOVE tilda swinton. she plays a bad angel in Constantine (otherwise an unwatchable movie) and also the puffy ammoral lawyer in Michael Clayton. the scene where she is putting on her creepy brown girdle while rehearsing her closing remarks to shareholders is hot.
- She was fuckin' great in Michael Clayton. In Julia she kidnaps a kid and wears a black mask, also Hot.
-- no but i LOVE tilda swinton. she plays a bad angel in Constantine (otherwise an unwatchable movie) and also the puffy ammoral lawyer in Michael Clayton. the scene where she is putting on her creepy brown girdle while rehearsing her closing remarks to shareholders is hot.
- She was fuckin' great in Michael Clayton. In Julia she kidnaps a kid and wears a black mask, also Hot.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
voice
i am insulated
nothing special to say
nothing comes into my space
i never leave
i don't hurt,
i don't win, but
i don't lose
(you always lose, pard)
nothing special to say
nothing comes into my space
i never leave
i don't hurt,
i don't win, but
i don't lose
(you always lose, pard)
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
marshall the stacks
F.W. is back from Warsaw and he's jet lagged from the flight. His arrival is unexpected.
A hasty assembly gathers at the usual spot.
You can always come back, but you can't come back all the way, says bob dylan.
we're all there. but things have changed. For ten years we had a reliable arrangement, all of us peers. Then one day it was different.
There were babies. And loans.
There were break ups. And jealousies. And failure.
Some talk later, the others depart to pursue their lives. F.W. and I move to bourbon. I happen to have an extra ticket to Ricky Jay's Arcana and Oddities Exhibition at the Bathurst St. Theatre, so we have something to do after we're asked to leave the bar.
F.W. was never much of a talker. But i can tell he's not impressed with Mr. Jay's demonstrations. His agitation seems centered on the middle aged futz sitting next to him.
Before he can start any trouble with the effete, i make a point of passing him the salt shaker.
Later that night we're outside the theatre and Nigel Erdmann is introduced to us. We know each other from ten years before when i rejected his novel. he nearly immediately moves to strangle me but we escape through a hedge.
A hasty assembly gathers at the usual spot.
You can always come back, but you can't come back all the way, says bob dylan.
we're all there. but things have changed. For ten years we had a reliable arrangement, all of us peers. Then one day it was different.
There were babies. And loans.
There were break ups. And jealousies. And failure.
Some talk later, the others depart to pursue their lives. F.W. and I move to bourbon. I happen to have an extra ticket to Ricky Jay's Arcana and Oddities Exhibition at the Bathurst St. Theatre, so we have something to do after we're asked to leave the bar.
F.W. was never much of a talker. But i can tell he's not impressed with Mr. Jay's demonstrations. His agitation seems centered on the middle aged futz sitting next to him.
Before he can start any trouble with the effete, i make a point of passing him the salt shaker.
Later that night we're outside the theatre and Nigel Erdmann is introduced to us. We know each other from ten years before when i rejected his novel. he nearly immediately moves to strangle me but we escape through a hedge.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
gonna go out
things that don't last as long as i wish they would:
highs
haircuts
the stash
jeans
good body
nights
deadwood
new
22
highs
haircuts
the stash
jeans
good body
nights
deadwood
new
22
Friday, January 01, 2010
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
etobicoke, ontario
i want drugs.
(this is how the trouble starts)
i want women.
(this is how the trouble starts)
i want money.
(this is how the trouble starts)
(i want a clear conscience)
i trouble.
(this is how the trouble starts)
i want women.
(this is how the trouble starts)
i want money.
(this is how the trouble starts)
(i want a clear conscience)
i trouble.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
likes to unlike
she says, the lord in his wisdom salted his works.
he nods over the ashtray; he doesn't care, but they share habits so they pretend to listen to each other.
he nods over the ashtray; he doesn't care, but they share habits so they pretend to listen to each other.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
certainty against faith
i'm getting close to 40. i can tell this matters to me because i've started waking up earlier in the afternoon than usual. There's this feeling of things slipping past me at a rapid rate; a slipstream washing over and by me. I would raise my palms against the wind, to try to feel more, to push it back a little. But it's just pebbles in a river.
Women. As hard as i try to focus on my work, or my drinking, it's women that consume me. They arrive so unexpectedly and just as i realize what they've done, they leave. I suppose it's fitting that my best moments with them have come in prisons and cemeteries.
This last one, she was a sneaky knockout. I never saw her coming, but now i can't stop seeing her leave. What are they thinking? Women.
My work? Well, let's just say i'm no overachiever. But i've learned to accept my pace. I've learned that sometimes, there can be only moments. That they can't last is the tragedy. That you have them at all is your art.
This last one, we had some moments.
Women. As hard as i try to focus on my work, or my drinking, it's women that consume me. They arrive so unexpectedly and just as i realize what they've done, they leave. I suppose it's fitting that my best moments with them have come in prisons and cemeteries.
This last one, she was a sneaky knockout. I never saw her coming, but now i can't stop seeing her leave. What are they thinking? Women.
My work? Well, let's just say i'm no overachiever. But i've learned to accept my pace. I've learned that sometimes, there can be only moments. That they can't last is the tragedy. That you have them at all is your art.
This last one, we had some moments.
Friday, July 03, 2009
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