Tonight your bunker
of spirits and compliments,
might just do the trick
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
just to hit glass
hey.
jesus. it's 4am.
i can't do this without you.
i hate you. don't you remember?
yeah, but how am i supposed to make my living?
can't you hate yourself?
jesus. it's 4am.
i can't do this without you.
i hate you. don't you remember?
yeah, but how am i supposed to make my living?
can't you hate yourself?
Friday, March 23, 2007
lady in the lake
come on, you say hot phrases but you're just gonna leave me sick.
-doubting potential is the only advantage we have left.
even if i could say yes, i couldn't agree.
-i know.
so we're impossible.
-your ideas are.
-doubting potential is the only advantage we have left.
even if i could say yes, i couldn't agree.
-i know.
so we're impossible.
-your ideas are.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Friday, March 02, 2007
Thursday, March 01, 2007
is this it?
I’m surprised when she answers. It’s late but she sounds wide awake and like she was expecting someone to call. There’s no way I can represent myself, but she says she likes it. It takes six months for this to become ironic.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
really it's out if it's in
flashback: labour day monday. sometime between 1998 and 2003, noon. "backstage" a polyester clad cocaine addict spills backwards over the sectional, cutting her head open on a clay pot. ten minutes later, screaming blood, the band hits the deck and there's this terrific silver sparkling flash. The pantsuited singer has not been grounded. The first chorded croon on the microphone completes the circuit, everything pops, and she's vanished. no one's seen her since, but there's a local claim of a front tooth found in her marshall.
anyway, i got the tooth and i made a necklace out of it and gave it to my girlfriend. she's like: "what the fuck's this? a tooth? is it yours?" and so i tell her the legend and she throws it at me and says, "you gave me some other chicks tooth?"
anyway, i got the tooth and i made a necklace out of it and gave it to my girlfriend. she's like: "what the fuck's this? a tooth? is it yours?" and so i tell her the legend and she throws it at me and says, "you gave me some other chicks tooth?"
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
i hate you.
some guys find gold in the river.
i think that's a little simplistic.
don't sweat it.
i'm not sweating it.
whatever.
i think that's a little simplistic.
don't sweat it.
i'm not sweating it.
whatever.
senorita i'm in trouble again
are mathematicians fools? they all go crazy trying to figure out how to get home. they're worse than lovers. we go so long around to find the thinnest things. And then we find they're not even there.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
all that strict of a christian
-...but I can’t juggle like the smothers brothers.
who are the smother brothers?
-Oh they were these jugglers.
shit I just dropped my orange on the ground. It's dusty!
-...
...
-do you think if you ate a human, is there more nutrients in the skin or the meat?
who are the smother brothers?
-Oh they were these jugglers.
shit I just dropped my orange on the ground. It's dusty!
-...
...
-do you think if you ate a human, is there more nutrients in the skin or the meat?
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
come on
don't blame me because we aren't friends anymore. i don't know what happened either. it just became so zero sum. you hate me so much but only because i had to choose first. you never understood; it's easy to be second. i loved you.
fuckin radio listener
why are you always so negative?
i don't think you're in any position to fucking comment. fuckin radio listener.
i don't think you're in any position to fucking comment. fuckin radio listener.
get out of there, right now
dispute the reason for rules
as laid down by motherfuckers,
that's just plain bold.
(i'm doing time here without you)
as laid down by motherfuckers,
that's just plain bold.
(i'm doing time here without you)
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Nebuchadnezzar
as a fucking point of learning, don't i question myself now when i'm sure of something? fucking right. if there is question, there is no question.
i don't get it. so you're like some constant questioner?
exactly.
that's idiotic. you're idiotic. i'm done. fuck you solipsists. i'm going home. give me my iPod back.
don't make any fucking mistake. i'm not young. you don't want expectations.
so how do you go from that to hating the radio? you can't hate everything. you can't fight all the time! i don't understand how come
that's because you keep looking at pictures.
you make me hate everybody. that's not a healthy dynamic.
wouldn't want you out there uneducated.
i hate it when you do that.
do i tell you everything's going to be ok? you'd rather have a fucking job?
i don't get it. so you're like some constant questioner?
exactly.
that's idiotic. you're idiotic. i'm done. fuck you solipsists. i'm going home. give me my iPod back.
don't make any fucking mistake. i'm not young. you don't want expectations.
so how do you go from that to hating the radio? you can't hate everything. you can't fight all the time! i don't understand how come
that's because you keep looking at pictures.
you make me hate everybody. that's not a healthy dynamic.
wouldn't want you out there uneducated.
i hate it when you do that.
do i tell you everything's going to be ok? you'd rather have a fucking job?
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Monday, January 08, 2007
Friday, January 05, 2007
Monday, January 01, 2007
makes no sense (makes no sense)
The next book is about the fact that there is more human production out there than any of us would have time in our lives to read, watch, eat etc... it’s the new isolation. I love it.
hasten consumption? A new technology?
you can't allow brand names, except
ennio morricone is playing. After
a night of pulp fiction (yes embarrassed, even alone)
new year’s eve.
Santorini white,
for a few dollars more we
could both get panchos
why in the fuck is
jenna jameson so popular?
Half off cunt.
an award is presented
to the one who fucks the
best, in America.
Whores just off buses
reduced to coke stiffled tears
for the Best Anal
Stiffened by coke
is tight ass fun, yo
... later,
Steve Nash
pistons score 11 straight
they had the lead by one
they trail now, 3.5 seconds passed
95-91,
five straight by nash
hasten consumption? A new technology?
you can't allow brand names, except
ennio morricone is playing. After
a night of pulp fiction (yes embarrassed, even alone)
new year’s eve.
Santorini white,
for a few dollars more we
could both get panchos
why in the fuck is
jenna jameson so popular?
Half off cunt.
an award is presented
to the one who fucks the
best, in America.
Whores just off buses
reduced to coke stiffled tears
for the Best Anal
Stiffened by coke
is tight ass fun, yo
... later,
Steve Nash
pistons score 11 straight
they had the lead by one
they trail now, 3.5 seconds passed
95-91,
five straight by nash
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
life's buffet
What the fuck is it with you wondering about how much I really know? Fuck you. I know a lot. Anyway, sitting there in the movies watching everyone fall in love so hard with Bill Murray like 10 years later than’s cool, I’m thinking, well, at least I don’t have AIDS. Seriously, what the fuck is with you and your fucked up celebrity crush thing? Anyway, i didn't figure you for someone who listens to gossip.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
don't doubt me (hits the pavement hard)
for the last six or seven days i keep thinking, i should cover a pavement song. but you can't. you can't. they're so laid back and perfect. see, i remember buying slanted and enchanted and being blown away. and listening to brave new waves and heaing this (box elder)... holy fuck, stephen malkmus... you don't know that much about pavement, so you can't know that he's like (among) the greatest frontman of all time.... michale stipe was not close. lou reed, yes. iggy. i fucking accept a fundamental base here, you don't have to argue fucking first principles. fuck. anyway, i had no idea he (malkmus) was a guitar player. he's the greatest possible rock singer. how could he do somethign else? but i saw him on that last tour on guitar and he was something else.
[change]
i was dressed for success. but success it never comes.
[change]
you could wait for me or i could wait for you. but in the end, are you really the kind who wants to hang around? cause i'm not.
(*it's really wowie zowie)
[change]
i was dressed for success. but success it never comes.
[change]
you could wait for me or i could wait for you. but in the end, are you really the kind who wants to hang around? cause i'm not.
(*it's really wowie zowie)
too late to (night)
I thought I might do something
but I’m not going to do anything.
'Captain fantastic raised and regimented
hardly a hero', he sings overtop
of the clacking keys I’m depressing.
You can’t ask someone to be
everything all the time.
'Little dirt cowboys', that’s
what the song is called.
but I’m not going to do anything.
'Captain fantastic raised and regimented
hardly a hero', he sings overtop
of the clacking keys I’m depressing.
You can’t ask someone to be
everything all the time.
'Little dirt cowboys', that’s
what the song is called.
interested in this: 05/06
Role playing games.
Violin.
Ricky jay and magic.
Deadwood.
Golf.
Boxing.
Train robbers
con artists
Roy Gardner
John Dillinger
Violence
anxiety
Blogs
judaism.
Denmark.
Coureur des bois
LH Collider
Axis and Allies (Subsequent Versions)
Goldrush, Klondike.
Colonial courting habits
bix
and of course, endings.
Violin.
Ricky jay and magic.
Deadwood.
Golf.
Boxing.
Train robbers
con artists
Roy Gardner
John Dillinger
Violence
anxiety
Blogs
judaism.
Denmark.
Coureur des bois
LH Collider
Axis and Allies (Subsequent Versions)
Goldrush, Klondike.
Colonial courting habits
bix
and of course, endings.
bitter fingers
so what, you think you’re just talking to us now?
What?
Yeah, you wouldn’t give us the time in high school.
Did you ever ask?
...
(later)
Sex is like murder
Yeah. It’s like the only thing you get to do to someone else.
And it feels just as good when you get it done to you.
What?
Yeah, you wouldn’t give us the time in high school.
Did you ever ask?
...
(later)
Sex is like murder
Yeah. It’s like the only thing you get to do to someone else.
And it feels just as good when you get it done to you.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Friday, December 01, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
just listen again
They didn’t have Jameson.
Be good at what you can be good at.
What if you’re good at raping boys?
That’s the genius and tragedy of the double helix.
You’re so Lawful Neutral.
.... will you shut up with your DnD alignments.
...
Fucking dork.
Be good at what you can be good at.
What if you’re good at raping boys?
That’s the genius and tragedy of the double helix.
You’re so Lawful Neutral.
.... will you shut up with your DnD alignments.
...
Fucking dork.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
my favourite
purple dark gray dark grey purple light gray
purple dark ray dar kray purple light ray
purple dark gray dark grey purple light grey
purple dark ray dar kray purple light ray
purple dark gray dark grey purple light grey
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
con done
precious caterers
claim various shoulders as
french service genders
then again a
blame incoherent
finishes
claim various shoulders as
french service genders
then again a
blame incoherent
finishes
lame duck
-alright bailey, here it is...
(use the ignore function. )
even though i have the ignore function... -ok, wait, i don't want to hear it back-
-you're gonna call her.
-no. because i feel right now like i felt when i quit smoking
-you mean when you went around to everyone asking for smokes?
-...rats
-haha!
(use the ignore function. )
even though i have the ignore function... -ok, wait, i don't want to hear it back-
-you're gonna call her.
-no. because i feel right now like i felt when i quit smoking
-you mean when you went around to everyone asking for smokes?
-...rats
-haha!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
frog and the scorpion
-sorry, i forgot if you said one or two sugars.
-thanks. don't worry, this is fine.
-...
-...
-i'm just not attracted to people that are attracted to me. what can i tell you?
-thanks. don't worry, this is fine.
-...
-...
-i'm just not attracted to people that are attracted to me. what can i tell you?
Friday, November 03, 2006
wolf the nibs
new world old world
candy makes it easier
old views, new windows
but i like your
records.
candy makes it easier
old views, new windows
but i like your
records.
dial m for pocky (syndication cheapens us)
run from crushes (redux)
through handling, objects are refined. sometimes, they are taken for granted. subjected to garage sales or abandoned apartments. when asked, people say the one thing they'd take from their burning home would be their photoalbums. Their pictures.
i would pick my guitar because i could probably get $2000 for it* and that'd be a stake. pictures can't buy coffee. but that's a negative side of me. anyway, you're lucky if you got a house to burn. god be praised. though his purpose seem vague.
you get better with a thing the longer you get to be with it. but you can come to hate a thing too, the more you know it. the more mysteries it surrenders, the more disappointed we get. to know it is to kill it.
*assuming that the force majeur was local and not global and that usual economies would remain in play.
i would pick my guitar because i could probably get $2000 for it* and that'd be a stake. pictures can't buy coffee. but that's a negative side of me. anyway, you're lucky if you got a house to burn. god be praised. though his purpose seem vague.
you get better with a thing the longer you get to be with it. but you can come to hate a thing too, the more you know it. the more mysteries it surrenders, the more disappointed we get. to know it is to kill it.
*assuming that the force majeur was local and not global and that usual economies would remain in play.
here i go again
yes, metal lovers, that's a whitesnake reference. shameover, futilitarian, bitterati, karmageddon. these words are more or less the story of the last ten years. i didn't make them up. But i've been surrounded by them and i believe in them. look, they're not everything. everything can't be everything, as my niece pointed out to me while wriggling backwards along the marble floor, wolfing nibs. it's a sad thing when kids make you tired. but then again, kids have no idea what's about to happen.
out of character
it's true.
i just can't believe it. you really did it?
yep.
i didn't think you had it in you.
well, now she does.
nice!
i just can't believe it. you really did it?
yep.
i didn't think you had it in you.
well, now she does.
nice!
Friday, October 20, 2006
out for dinner
-everything seems to be drizzled or infused these days.
-uh huh... sometimes a figure can be drawn that contains information that is incompatible with the visual processing system.
- uh, whatever reutersvard. .... so, are you a proponent of the baltimore trip or what?
-as compared to brooklyn?
-yeah.
-uh huh... sometimes a figure can be drawn that contains information that is incompatible with the visual processing system.
- uh, whatever reutersvard. .... so, are you a proponent of the baltimore trip or what?
-as compared to brooklyn?
-yeah.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
forgot to bring it
...overall i'd have to say i'm unimpressed.
mmnm.
that's not to say there aren't, moments, where you're really getting close to something.
mmhmm.
but overall...
unimpressed.
yeah.
mmnm.
that's not to say there aren't, moments, where you're really getting close to something.
mmhmm.
but overall...
unimpressed.
yeah.
queen bitch
What do you want?
Everything.
No, I mean for lunch. I’m calling now.
Oh. I don’t care. Get me the opposite of what you’re having.
Everything.
No, I mean for lunch. I’m calling now.
Oh. I don’t care. Get me the opposite of what you’re having.
Friday, September 15, 2006
carson
petty crime? i don't care. i think about kids who figure out how to steal. i think that it demonstrates a throw-back resourcefullness. me and my friends all knew how to steal. we could trick you out of whatever you had on you. i was the weak link. i worried about the future. that's a detriment to the criminal.
where i grew up, nothing came easy. the houses were small squares. you could tell by the yards and the bushes who had money, and who had trouble. it wasn't irish, but it wasn't easy.
at school the kids were tough, like it was at home. but they weren't stupid. our parents were good people and smart with money and temper. they knew the cost of things. they knew how to punish too.
...
in school, carson was the king. one year, he had a seemingly endless supply of smoke bombs. he'd dole them out occasionally; his prices varied according to your status. fuck, if i could make a shirt it would say "carson". that guy. in grade eight, we had a quebec trip if you took french, so we all took french. one week in QC. then in la belle province teenagers could buy knives and dildos and porn at the head shops. we all bought switchblades when the teachers weren't looking. i think they didn't look on purpose. what you can't see you don't have to deal with, right?
anyway, you could do alot of things, but you couldn't smoke. if you got caught smoking cigarettees it meant you were sent home. so when i got caught out the window of our dorm window, i knew that was it.
so the teachers burst in the room and catch me basically red-handed and demand with pointed fingers: 'were you smoking?' and carson cooly says while we're all petrified, 'bailey doesn't smoke'. so they sent carson home and he never said a word. when i got back, i tried to give him the butterfly knife i'd bought but he goes: "it's cool b. it's cool."
where i grew up, nothing came easy. the houses were small squares. you could tell by the yards and the bushes who had money, and who had trouble. it wasn't irish, but it wasn't easy.
at school the kids were tough, like it was at home. but they weren't stupid. our parents were good people and smart with money and temper. they knew the cost of things. they knew how to punish too.
...
in school, carson was the king. one year, he had a seemingly endless supply of smoke bombs. he'd dole them out occasionally; his prices varied according to your status. fuck, if i could make a shirt it would say "carson". that guy. in grade eight, we had a quebec trip if you took french, so we all took french. one week in QC. then in la belle province teenagers could buy knives and dildos and porn at the head shops. we all bought switchblades when the teachers weren't looking. i think they didn't look on purpose. what you can't see you don't have to deal with, right?
anyway, you could do alot of things, but you couldn't smoke. if you got caught smoking cigarettees it meant you were sent home. so when i got caught out the window of our dorm window, i knew that was it.
so the teachers burst in the room and catch me basically red-handed and demand with pointed fingers: 'were you smoking?' and carson cooly says while we're all petrified, 'bailey doesn't smoke'. so they sent carson home and he never said a word. when i got back, i tried to give him the butterfly knife i'd bought but he goes: "it's cool b. it's cool."
woman you're a mess (dealer's perspective)
her dog bled from the head and died in a ferocious paroxysm. the tumour had grown for months and split the soft pelt weeks ago. she did nothing. i've been selling her for about nine years. she's never borrowed or asked for a spot. she's always had me in and her house has always presented well. most of my customers pride themselves on how you can't tell they use. they're in denial. but not her. with her, you'd never know. she was just no good with animals.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Monday, August 28, 2006
Friday, August 18, 2006
all kinds of nothing
-which paul?
-the 'that's why i got pepper spray' paul.
-oh shit. i think i dated him.
-s.l.u.t.!
they're all leaving for the a____e____ show. (i want to get home before i forget all these great things that are happening in this moment, but obviously i didn't.)
-bailey! are you coming with us?
sometimes when you get in a fight or you take speed or crash a car or whatever, it's all for the same reason.
-yeah, i'll go.
-the 'that's why i got pepper spray' paul.
-oh shit. i think i dated him.
-s.l.u.t.!
they're all leaving for the a____e____ show. (i want to get home before i forget all these great things that are happening in this moment, but obviously i didn't.)
-bailey! are you coming with us?
sometimes when you get in a fight or you take speed or crash a car or whatever, it's all for the same reason.
-yeah, i'll go.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Thursday, August 10, 2006
le mort d'arthur
i got some slivers in my hands this weekend as i was collecting spiny hedge cuttings from the yard. i anticipate how these painful slivers will cause major problems for my golf grip during tomorrow's round so i'm frantic to remove them. however, i could not locate a pin or tweezers with which to pick them out (SOP for splinters and slivers), so i tried sucking them out with my mouth, pressing the meat around them with my fingernails and even with my teeth but nothing works and mostly i just injure my hands even worse. this goes on for hours. finally, my friend says to me, what are you biting your fingers for? so i show her the slivers and she gets all excited and says, can i cut them out for you? i love taking out other people's slivers. i was like, no way!
that night, while soaking my hands in cups of water (thinking that this will soften the skin enough the the teeth method might actually work) i watched a national geographic special on monkeys grooming cats. i wonder if a cat can love a monkey. anyway, so, after some soaking, i get a pairing knife (pearing knife? i love homophones. like when we were kids and we had those pink, grade-school issued notebooks that said on the cover "etobicoke board of education" and we'd scrawl overtop "[the kids of] etobicoke [are] board of education". it was the 'board' that made it hilarious) and slice down into my fingertips to get at the slivers; which by this time are, like porcupine quills, working themselves deeper into my flesh in an attempt to get to my heart and kill me. beads of blood well up out of the gouges and i become slightly faint. the monkeys meanwhile have discovered how to comb the cats with crude implements like rough sticks and bunches of grass.
in the end, it all worked out fine. and i went back to drinking and lying like always. you never learn from things you can escape i guess.
that night, while soaking my hands in cups of water (thinking that this will soften the skin enough the the teeth method might actually work) i watched a national geographic special on monkeys grooming cats. i wonder if a cat can love a monkey. anyway, so, after some soaking, i get a pairing knife (pearing knife? i love homophones. like when we were kids and we had those pink, grade-school issued notebooks that said on the cover "etobicoke board of education" and we'd scrawl overtop "[the kids of] etobicoke [are] board of education". it was the 'board' that made it hilarious) and slice down into my fingertips to get at the slivers; which by this time are, like porcupine quills, working themselves deeper into my flesh in an attempt to get to my heart and kill me. beads of blood well up out of the gouges and i become slightly faint. the monkeys meanwhile have discovered how to comb the cats with crude implements like rough sticks and bunches of grass.
in the end, it all worked out fine. and i went back to drinking and lying like always. you never learn from things you can escape i guess.
Friday, August 04, 2006
raised on promises
-you know what i want?
put your fingers up my ass?
-yeah, that. but also a clear conscience.
yeah, that'd be nice.
-let's get out of here.
one more shot?
-alright.
put your fingers up my ass?
-yeah, that. but also a clear conscience.
yeah, that'd be nice.
-let's get out of here.
one more shot?
-alright.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
the heater don't work (you're no mencken)
jonny used to smack me upside my head with his palm. 'are you stupid?' he'd fold his chin in and look around the fire at his friends like i was unbelievable. i had no comeback. mostly though they'd let me stick around without trouble. they'd send me into town for condoms, beers and cigarettes. they were older and darker and they'd let me keep the change. sometimes i'd drive their pick-ups home for them with their girlfriends. all the way they'd tell me how lazy their boyfriends were and how they were all so leaving all this small town shit. sometimes they'd tell me how cute i was.
one time, this girl named veronica had a ronettes tape and we listened to be my baby over and over on the drive back to the city. she fell in love with jonny after he left highschool to work at the plant. he had a telecaster and a paycheque and she was in grade 11. but she wasn't in highschool anymore. i had elastics on my braces and my pops had just given me his father's .22. he'd took off for florida the next day. she was wasted but her plan made sense. i mean, nothing ever happened in our shitty town.
anyway, everytime i hear the ronettes, this is what i think about. she sent me the tape my second year of the hitch. no note. just a pack of matches from the bar with her lipstick kiss on it. she actually married jonny's brother right after the murder, but he died of brain cancer at 32. left her with two kids and six payments on the trailer. i read about it in the paper. i don't blame her for rolling over on me. but i wonder about the brother. you think about time different when you're in a box.
(conscience is the inner voice which warns us someone may be looking.)
one time, this girl named veronica had a ronettes tape and we listened to be my baby over and over on the drive back to the city. she fell in love with jonny after he left highschool to work at the plant. he had a telecaster and a paycheque and she was in grade 11. but she wasn't in highschool anymore. i had elastics on my braces and my pops had just given me his father's .22. he'd took off for florida the next day. she was wasted but her plan made sense. i mean, nothing ever happened in our shitty town.
anyway, everytime i hear the ronettes, this is what i think about. she sent me the tape my second year of the hitch. no note. just a pack of matches from the bar with her lipstick kiss on it. she actually married jonny's brother right after the murder, but he died of brain cancer at 32. left her with two kids and six payments on the trailer. i read about it in the paper. i don't blame her for rolling over on me. but i wonder about the brother. you think about time different when you're in a box.
(conscience is the inner voice which warns us someone may be looking.)
are you awake?
you know the pot i found on the floor at hero burger?
yeah.
it's fuckin awesome.
you're crazy.
so you're coming over?
i guess. you want something from the s'lev?
yeah.
it's fuckin awesome.
you're crazy.
so you're coming over?
i guess. you want something from the s'lev?
hoop dreams (babyface)
i find this deflated basketball in the trash outside the bar and it totally captures my imagination. i'm so bummed from charlie v being traded, you know. with an idea, i start digging through other queen street trash and i find an empty cardboard box. it says: 'handle with care', but i'm not going to. so i set it up against a sidewalk tree trunk. and i start bombing shots. they're dropping like i'm A.I. ball don't lie. sometimes i throw a fred jones into it. (c___ fucking exhales this: it's an imac box. fucking on dirt roots of a sidewalk fucking curb tree, you suck dude) anyway, i'm into it. i'm breaking ankles. then a guy comes out and i want to have fun. i take a shot just as he moves towards the box and it hits him in the head! i put my palms up, but he freaks and throws the ball at me and it hits me in the balls. i lose it and go right at him. at the last second i figure i'll just wrap him up. he's kind of a punk. to diffuse it, i start up the game verbally. i try to make it loose and cut the tension giving him eye contact and calling out: 'hits the open man' but he doesn't get it or put his hands up and my pass hits him right in the chest. (no justice for squaring me but) i say, 'i'm not antagonistic!' but i'm figuring at this point he must not speak english because he puts his skateboard behind him and steps up. trying to ward off the inevitable, i pull out a movie quote -- despite my antipathy to all things celluloid: 'english mutherfucker! do you speak it?!' nothing. he's got that brutal stupid drunk look plastered in his eyes and all i can think about in that moment is babyface nelson. what would he do?
Monday, July 31, 2006
stripper deck (1d)
on a sunday night the last thing you should be doing is drinking maudite. i don't know what i feel more stupid for: telephone dating or paying for the booze with credit. i should totally be dating 'online'. at least i didn't fall for gnarls barkley! if this cd is in your collection, you have much to apologize for. sometimes you meet people who sound just like you used to sound. they say exactly the same wonderful, stupid things. they like themselves and they text. they order way too much at last call.
so tonight, nothing really happened again. bitter J___ from the next-door bar came in twice for jack daniels and toasted up his shots against women. then the hot brown girl, wearing gold heels, wobbled in hammered for a jack daniels, in a tumbler. she hates boys she said. she wants a sugar daddy. she's got a sister who's a lawyer and 'has nice clothes, a nice place, eats in nice restaurants, has nice teeth and drives a nice car but isn't happy'. how could she be? hbg says, 'like i smile like ten thousand times a week more than my sister. why go through all that eighteen hours-a-day shit when you can just get a guy to give you money?' that's what she said. i love it when you meet perfect modern people. i just nodded though and tried not to want to fuck her. the truth is, you can't talk to everyone. not that it'd matter. i'm broke and pale. plus, there's no such thing as smarter than pretty. so i ask her for her sister's number. the look i get is great. people think they have a sense of humour but they don't really. in the end no one remembers this shit anyway.
so tonight, nothing really happened again. bitter J___ from the next-door bar came in twice for jack daniels and toasted up his shots against women. then the hot brown girl, wearing gold heels, wobbled in hammered for a jack daniels, in a tumbler. she hates boys she said. she wants a sugar daddy. she's got a sister who's a lawyer and 'has nice clothes, a nice place, eats in nice restaurants, has nice teeth and drives a nice car but isn't happy'. how could she be? hbg says, 'like i smile like ten thousand times a week more than my sister. why go through all that eighteen hours-a-day shit when you can just get a guy to give you money?' that's what she said. i love it when you meet perfect modern people. i just nodded though and tried not to want to fuck her. the truth is, you can't talk to everyone. not that it'd matter. i'm broke and pale. plus, there's no such thing as smarter than pretty. so i ask her for her sister's number. the look i get is great. people think they have a sense of humour but they don't really. in the end no one remembers this shit anyway.
Friday, July 28, 2006
too old to party (you're fucking dead)
peacock drunk he's preening,
ten years burning down the road
the singalong actually
gets her.
my experience has been,
just because you pick the record
doesn't mean you get laid.
especially when
she's never heard of nebraska
(and they blew up his house too)
i hate it when you remind me about
the lowest common denominator.
you know how i don't
like to think about
how fucking true that is.
(itunes doesn't have the best songs.)
ten years burning down the road
the singalong actually
gets her.
my experience has been,
just because you pick the record
doesn't mean you get laid.
especially when
she's never heard of nebraska
(and they blew up his house too)
i hate it when you remind me about
the lowest common denominator.
you know how i don't
like to think about
how fucking true that is.
(itunes doesn't have the best songs.)
short game
ok, tonight was great. too great. i'm so fucked. tiger, you have no idea. promise me you won't let me forget ............ forget it
come home stupid
things disappear when you try to write them. it's the difference between a writer and not a writer. i can't hold on to anything. like you, when i'm there, it's clear and suspended. i know everything. seems like the perfect new yorker article.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Sunday, July 23, 2006
cochise

i like barry bonds because there are so many people that have ideas about how he is wrong and owes apologies to them. 'he tainted the purity of the game'. but even if he is wrong for the chemicals, he doesn't ever break in front of them. barry bonds is my hero because he won't give in to anyone. he knows we all had a hand in making him. i actually think his ability to handle himself under constant sanctimony and righteousness proves something greater than his misdemeanours. anyway, you can't get rid of complicity by hanging your heroes.
it's ridiculous to allude to the genocide of the apaches and the betrayal and murder of cochise's family in context with the simple, if relentless, scrutiny of barry bonds for chemically enhancing his stroke. all i'm trying to point out is that, when america wants something, nation or baseball god, if you're in its way you are going down.
but what do i know? i just read books and twirl around on bar stools. the untelevised.
but... admit it, wouldn't you rather ride ponies and hunt buffalo and roam and smoke pipes on the plains than get fleeced for matchbox condos and smoggy asphalt? maybe not. statues and exposure are still hot. i know: $. but some of us aren't cut out for making money (good news for those that are). some of us get bounced around. maybe we fit our paradigms to our finances. but not so long ago, yellow metal made men crazy enough that they went and murdered a whole people. after promising again and again to let them be. is there any real difference these days? the crimes of then, the crimes of now. keep signing treaties and hope things at least won't get worse. way to go.
jackie and him
your problem is you always want to teach someone a lesson.
you always fuckin' know what's wrong with everyone?
he puts his hands up.
what should i do?
you could let it go. you know? fix yourself up. move on. you know? you look like shit benny. they miss you at the track.
yeah.
not everything's a battle. you don't have to fight everyone. not all the time. that's all she's trying to tell you.
yeah.
so, you gonna do it?
would you?
aw... come on. it's not the same thing.
it's all the same thing charlie. jackie and him. you and her. are you telling me you didn't want to kick my ass?
that was different back then. we were young. look at us here, this is not the same thing as back then.
well that's all i'm saying charlie. that's all i'm trying to say here.
things aren't like that man. you're crazy.
one-eye lopez is crazy. i'm exactly where i should be.
jesus, you are sooo crazy.
...
well, could we at least have a drink first?
sure. then we get him.
you always fuckin' know what's wrong with everyone?
he puts his hands up.
what should i do?
you could let it go. you know? fix yourself up. move on. you know? you look like shit benny. they miss you at the track.
yeah.
not everything's a battle. you don't have to fight everyone. not all the time. that's all she's trying to tell you.
yeah.
so, you gonna do it?
would you?
aw... come on. it's not the same thing.
it's all the same thing charlie. jackie and him. you and her. are you telling me you didn't want to kick my ass?
that was different back then. we were young. look at us here, this is not the same thing as back then.
well that's all i'm saying charlie. that's all i'm trying to say here.
things aren't like that man. you're crazy.
one-eye lopez is crazy. i'm exactly where i should be.
jesus, you are sooo crazy.
...
well, could we at least have a drink first?
sure. then we get him.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Sunday, July 16, 2006
run from crushes
through handling, objects are refined. sometimes, they are taken for granted. subjected to garage sales or abandoned apartments. when asked, people say the one thing they'd take from their burning home would be their photoalbums. Their pictures.
i picked my guitar because i could probably get $1500 for it and that'd be a stake. pictures can't buy coffee. but that's a negative side of me. anyway, you're lucky if you got a house to burn. god be praised. though his purpose seem vague.
you get better with a thing the longer you get to be with it. but you can come to hate a thing too, the more you know it. the more mysteries it surrenders, the more disappointed we get. to know it is to kill it.
i picked my guitar because i could probably get $1500 for it and that'd be a stake. pictures can't buy coffee. but that's a negative side of me. anyway, you're lucky if you got a house to burn. god be praised. though his purpose seem vague.
you get better with a thing the longer you get to be with it. but you can come to hate a thing too, the more you know it. the more mysteries it surrenders, the more disappointed we get. to know it is to kill it.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Friday, July 14, 2006
(hey man, that suit is you)
i'm going to get the whiskey because i just found my van halen records. C____ gave me her turntable so that's what i'm working on. next to the computer, it feels pretty backdated but i'll bet everyone figures out eventually that the oldies are the best. look, it's not that i would ever actually defend van halen, but at the moment i'm in an unapologetic frame of mind. and besides, what kind of life is it if you're going live in shame for the crimes of youth? it's not like i'm listening to coldplay.
"you know, you're semi good looking". that was our favourite lyric. i had a black cj-7 with a cassette stereo... i think 5150 had just come out, and between me and my friends we could pool pretty much all their records. 5150 had some killer tracks, but it was also sappy (not as bad as ou812 though. that was pretty much the last record i owned of theirs). for a while, women and children first was high-rotation, but diver down, fair warning and even 1984 also got lots of play. there was never any tension over roth/hagar. sort of how it never bothered us about bon scott/brian johnson. i only became a music nazi when i left the suburbs. sometimes not knowing what you don't know is the only thing that keeps you young. anyway, these records are great. i wish i still had that cj. jeeps were great for cruising and picking up, or even just sitting in the school parking lot for smoking and making plans. for some reason, thursdays were the best night back then. i just throw that in as an incidental.
years later, in paris, i saw halen and bon jovi together. in paris. le grotesque.
when we used to drive to grand bend in the summer, 'dance the night away' was the song. VH is perfect for summers and cottages, that much of their legacy is secure. "van whalen" covered them at the hotel bar one year. that was the golden era of cover bands i think. altho, get any distance out of 416 and if you can play CCR, you can make a living.
michael anthony was famous at their live shows for pouring bottles of JD down his neck to punctuate his bizarre bass solos. now it seems like vaudeville, but back then, we dared each other to try it; to gross effect. grand bend is where i saw my first texas mickey. 'big as an execution', that's what they said. one gallon of whiskey. it's amazing i remember even that. about ten years after the last time i was there (the bend), i was working a van halen show at the amphitheatre in toronto. i think it was gary cherone by then. I was assigned to Anthony's bass tent. I discovered that the jack daniels bottles he would famously chug were no longer (if they ever were) filled with jack daniels and his sound tech was the only one bumping naughty salt. plus, eddie's marshalls were, save one, all hollow showpieces. (which at least made them easy to load) i wish i didn't know these things. (i also wish i'd never seen elton john naked but what's done is done.)
anyway, these songs really bring it all back (especially unchained). ha. i just remembered another thing: i found out about collateral damage that summer at Coco's when some guy hit me in the face with his elbow as he went to punch some other dude in the face. broke my glasses. Very emasculating to rummage around a beach bar dance floor in search of a lens. i'm pretty sure panama was playing. that might have been the same summer i lost my other pair of glasses in the lake. not to mention i think that was also the year i flunked out of university. no wonder.
(one break, coming up!)
"you know, you're semi good looking". that was our favourite lyric. i had a black cj-7 with a cassette stereo... i think 5150 had just come out, and between me and my friends we could pool pretty much all their records. 5150 had some killer tracks, but it was also sappy (not as bad as ou812 though. that was pretty much the last record i owned of theirs). for a while, women and children first was high-rotation, but diver down, fair warning and even 1984 also got lots of play. there was never any tension over roth/hagar. sort of how it never bothered us about bon scott/brian johnson. i only became a music nazi when i left the suburbs. sometimes not knowing what you don't know is the only thing that keeps you young. anyway, these records are great. i wish i still had that cj. jeeps were great for cruising and picking up, or even just sitting in the school parking lot for smoking and making plans. for some reason, thursdays were the best night back then. i just throw that in as an incidental.
years later, in paris, i saw halen and bon jovi together. in paris. le grotesque.
when we used to drive to grand bend in the summer, 'dance the night away' was the song. VH is perfect for summers and cottages, that much of their legacy is secure. "van whalen" covered them at the hotel bar one year. that was the golden era of cover bands i think. altho, get any distance out of 416 and if you can play CCR, you can make a living.
michael anthony was famous at their live shows for pouring bottles of JD down his neck to punctuate his bizarre bass solos. now it seems like vaudeville, but back then, we dared each other to try it; to gross effect. grand bend is where i saw my first texas mickey. 'big as an execution', that's what they said. one gallon of whiskey. it's amazing i remember even that. about ten years after the last time i was there (the bend), i was working a van halen show at the amphitheatre in toronto. i think it was gary cherone by then. I was assigned to Anthony's bass tent. I discovered that the jack daniels bottles he would famously chug were no longer (if they ever were) filled with jack daniels and his sound tech was the only one bumping naughty salt. plus, eddie's marshalls were, save one, all hollow showpieces. (which at least made them easy to load) i wish i didn't know these things. (i also wish i'd never seen elton john naked but what's done is done.)
anyway, these songs really bring it all back (especially unchained). ha. i just remembered another thing: i found out about collateral damage that summer at Coco's when some guy hit me in the face with his elbow as he went to punch some other dude in the face. broke my glasses. Very emasculating to rummage around a beach bar dance floor in search of a lens. i'm pretty sure panama was playing. that might have been the same summer i lost my other pair of glasses in the lake. not to mention i think that was also the year i flunked out of university. no wonder.
(one break, coming up!)
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
charlie v
in the old days, when a pigeon was winning, you'd switch the dice. then, when the mark throws the win, the crooks would accuse the innocent of cheating. they'd tell the mark he was lucky to get out alive. when you want a thing, sometimes it's best to try not to have it.
come back charlie v!
come back! i can't move to milwaukee!
come back charlie v!
come back! i can't move to milwaukee!
Saturday, July 08, 2006
recreate
pictures through windows
never work out
you're always stealing,
my dear don't think of it as
stealing.
never work out
you're always stealing,
my dear don't think of it as
stealing.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)