stripper deck

she says, the way i am with you is the way i could be with anyone else.

as a normal person who wants normal things, this hurts. but she is beautiful and i am old enough to realize that beauty is beyond me. i am willing to accept any terms a hot woman wants to put on me in order to fuck her, even once.

she says, so that's the reason i think married people are fucked. i don't see how someone should be so special you'd choose their finances over someone else's.

again, a solid point, i think.

but, she says, once in a while, i fuck someone that does it so good and is so hot that maybe i wouldn't mind chilling with them. but there are so many parties, you know?

i do know. there are so many parties.

bunches of punches

i was a fan
of matt hughes,
but now i support
matt serra.

pancho

hoops

i would trade TJ
for brevin knight plus a pick
and start calderon

monsters

still believe, in
proper company, claim
opposite that you think

coming home

i was bored
so i started
to run

mnf

tony kornheiser
is the best thing to happen
since jimmy kimmel

deep into his bugs

when you have bed bugs, all you really want to talk about are bed bugs. and because bed bugs take over your life, your stories of bed bugs will be among the best ones you ever tell. to tell a great story, it helps a great deal to live it first. when you're invested in your point of view, especially in times of infestation, it comes across.

though after say, a wedding, or an apres work drink with colleagues, you might reconsider these riveting, intense descriptions of having bedbugs. 'highways of bites' along your legs, 'crouching underpanted' in your bed with a flashlight and tweezers, 14 days of 'sleepless, muderous' nights...

i'd guess that if you were a bed bug you'd see things totally differently. you're not worried about any of these insanities. you're just trying to get fed. your life is totally crawl-suck-die. the question is, what about a bed bug that one day develops some appreciation for the fact that all he'll ever be is a bed bug?

It's not impossible. Plenty of people i know freak out about halfway through their lives. It's like one day they shoot awake and look around and think: what the hell am i doing here? there are certain roles right? science is constantly revealing castes, formulas and molecular imperatives for evergrowing lists of lifeforms and spaces (to think humans are excluded is fooling yourself). and still we seem to need to agree, no matter what science proves, that no one knows what it's really like to be you.

when you think about it, whose story is more interesting? a lentil-flavoured, middle-aged man, infested by bed bugs, alienated from a wedding party? or a wingless, middle-aged bed bug, the product of traumatic insemination. who suddenly comes to an DDT-induced, crushing self-realization? crawl-suck-die? brutal.once a bed bug, always a bed bug. design imperatives. Cimicidae Schopenhaur.

i guess it's not a competition.

nevermind

tiny slights build
tortured points of view,
polly in cold blood

telephony

skype is fun
for talking to friends,
long distance

can't roll filters

you should kill guys like me. i think when i get angry and drunk, you should punch me. i think you should not pick up the phone when i call.

i would rather we just call it quits. i would rather not have to incorporate your successful trajectory. your good times are getting expensive.

vol. 4

miss the dope
miss bartenders
miss the load
miss ignorance.

winter sun

without you my ideas are one dimensional. i'm nowhere. i will die unexplored if i'm not careful. if you're going to go alone, you have to set alarms. and even then, you're not safe. conversation is the most important art form. we need to talk. you and i. without your voice i am nothing. it's the only thing i've ever been good at. but not without you.

proximity

when i meet a tattoo artist, i'm convinced the next thing i'm going to do is get tattoos.

when i meet a cornet player, i believe that jazz is the best.

when i meet a blonde i think there could be no other woman.

when i get home, i can't remember anything.

defeatist

the only time
i'm great is when
you're weak

take this little small town girl

just when you think you're late
you're on time.

fans get it

wanna work in
advertising,
ideas like this:

how am i not myself

being new is hard, but i keep telling myself that really, being new is awesome. because it is. when you're new, you get to be who you really are. if only briefly. too quickly we're constrained by the impressions we create. we learn to conform to established social paradigms. there is nothing better than being a stranger in a strange land.