on a sunday night the last thing you should be doing is drinking maudite. i don't know what i feel more stupid for: telephone dating or paying for the booze with credit. i should totally be dating 'online'. at least i didn't fall for gnarls barkley! if this cd is in your collection, you have much to apologize for. sometimes you meet people who sound just like you used to sound. they say exactly the same wonderful, stupid things. they like themselves and they text. they order way too much at last call.
so tonight, nothing really happened again. bitter J___ from the next-door bar came in twice for jack daniels and toasted up his shots against women. then the hot brown girl, wearing gold heels, wobbled in hammered for a jack daniels, in a tumbler. she hates boys she said. she wants a sugar daddy. she's got a sister who's a lawyer and 'has nice clothes, a nice place, eats in nice restaurants, has nice teeth and drives a nice car but isn't happy'. how could she be? hbg says, 'like i smile like ten thousand times a week more than my sister. why go through all that eighteen hours-a-day shit when you can just get a guy to give you money?' that's what she said. i love it when you meet perfect modern people. i just nodded though and tried not to want to fuck her. the truth is, you can't talk to everyone. not that it'd matter. i'm broke and pale. plus, there's no such thing as smarter than pretty. so i ask her for her sister's number. the look i get is great. people think they have a sense of humour but they don't really. in the end no one remembers this shit anyway.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
too old to party (you're fucking dead)
peacock drunk he's preening,
ten years burning down the road
the singalong actually
gets her.
my experience has been,
just because you pick the record
doesn't mean you get laid.
especially when
she's never heard of nebraska
(and they blew up his house too)
i hate it when you remind me about
the lowest common denominator.
you know how i don't
like to think about
how fucking true that is.
(itunes doesn't have the best songs.)
ten years burning down the road
the singalong actually
gets her.
my experience has been,
just because you pick the record
doesn't mean you get laid.
especially when
she's never heard of nebraska
(and they blew up his house too)
i hate it when you remind me about
the lowest common denominator.
you know how i don't
like to think about
how fucking true that is.
(itunes doesn't have the best songs.)
short game
ok, tonight was great. too great. i'm so fucked. tiger, you have no idea. promise me you won't let me forget ............ forget it
come home stupid
things disappear when you try to write them. it's the difference between a writer and not a writer. i can't hold on to anything. like you, when i'm there, it's clear and suspended. i know everything. seems like the perfect new yorker article.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Sunday, July 23, 2006
cochise
cochise had no choice. i keep thinking that, while reading the sunday sports pages. giants versus the indians. interleague. giants killed them. bonds hit two home runs. they didn't have a chance. cochise.i like barry bonds because there are so many people that have ideas about how he is wrong and owes apologies to them. 'he tainted the purity of the game'. but even if he is wrong for the chemicals, he doesn't ever break in front of them. barry bonds is my hero because he won't give in to anyone. he knows we all had a hand in making him. i actually think his ability to handle himself under constant sanctimony and righteousness proves something greater than his misdemeanours. anyway, you can't get rid of complicity by hanging your heroes.
it's ridiculous to allude to the genocide of the apaches and the betrayal and murder of cochise's family in context with the simple, if relentless, scrutiny of barry bonds for chemically enhancing his stroke. all i'm trying to point out is that, when america wants something, nation or baseball god, if you're in its way you are going down.
but what do i know? i just read books and twirl around on bar stools. the untelevised.
but... admit it, wouldn't you rather ride ponies and hunt buffalo and roam and smoke pipes on the plains than get fleeced for matchbox condos and smoggy asphalt? maybe not. statues and exposure are still hot. i know: $. but some of us aren't cut out for making money (good news for those that are). some of us get bounced around. maybe we fit our paradigms to our finances. but not so long ago, yellow metal made men crazy enough that they went and murdered a whole people. after promising again and again to let them be. is there any real difference these days? the crimes of then, the crimes of now. keep signing treaties and hope things at least won't get worse. way to go.
jackie and him
your problem is you always want to teach someone a lesson.
you always fuckin' know what's wrong with everyone?
he puts his hands up.
what should i do?
you could let it go. you know? fix yourself up. move on. you know? you look like shit benny. they miss you at the track.
yeah.
not everything's a battle. you don't have to fight everyone. not all the time. that's all she's trying to tell you.
yeah.
so, you gonna do it?
would you?
aw... come on. it's not the same thing.
it's all the same thing charlie. jackie and him. you and her. are you telling me you didn't want to kick my ass?
that was different back then. we were young. look at us here, this is not the same thing as back then.
well that's all i'm saying charlie. that's all i'm trying to say here.
things aren't like that man. you're crazy.
one-eye lopez is crazy. i'm exactly where i should be.
jesus, you are sooo crazy.
...
well, could we at least have a drink first?
sure. then we get him.
you always fuckin' know what's wrong with everyone?
he puts his hands up.
what should i do?
you could let it go. you know? fix yourself up. move on. you know? you look like shit benny. they miss you at the track.
yeah.
not everything's a battle. you don't have to fight everyone. not all the time. that's all she's trying to tell you.
yeah.
so, you gonna do it?
would you?
aw... come on. it's not the same thing.
it's all the same thing charlie. jackie and him. you and her. are you telling me you didn't want to kick my ass?
that was different back then. we were young. look at us here, this is not the same thing as back then.
well that's all i'm saying charlie. that's all i'm trying to say here.
things aren't like that man. you're crazy.
one-eye lopez is crazy. i'm exactly where i should be.
jesus, you are sooo crazy.
...
well, could we at least have a drink first?
sure. then we get him.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Sunday, July 16, 2006
run from crushes
through handling, objects are refined. sometimes, they are taken for granted. subjected to garage sales or abandoned apartments. when asked, people say the one thing they'd take from their burning home would be their photoalbums. Their pictures.
i picked my guitar because i could probably get $1500 for it and that'd be a stake. pictures can't buy coffee. but that's a negative side of me. anyway, you're lucky if you got a house to burn. god be praised. though his purpose seem vague.
you get better with a thing the longer you get to be with it. but you can come to hate a thing too, the more you know it. the more mysteries it surrenders, the more disappointed we get. to know it is to kill it.
i picked my guitar because i could probably get $1500 for it and that'd be a stake. pictures can't buy coffee. but that's a negative side of me. anyway, you're lucky if you got a house to burn. god be praised. though his purpose seem vague.
you get better with a thing the longer you get to be with it. but you can come to hate a thing too, the more you know it. the more mysteries it surrenders, the more disappointed we get. to know it is to kill it.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Friday, July 14, 2006
(hey man, that suit is you)
i'm going to get the whiskey because i just found my van halen records. C____ gave me her turntable so that's what i'm working on. next to the computer, it feels pretty backdated but i'll bet everyone figures out eventually that the oldies are the best. look, it's not that i would ever actually defend van halen, but at the moment i'm in an unapologetic frame of mind. and besides, what kind of life is it if you're going live in shame for the crimes of youth? it's not like i'm listening to coldplay.
"you know, you're semi good looking". that was our favourite lyric. i had a black cj-7 with a cassette stereo... i think 5150 had just come out, and between me and my friends we could pool pretty much all their records. 5150 had some killer tracks, but it was also sappy (not as bad as ou812 though. that was pretty much the last record i owned of theirs). for a while, women and children first was high-rotation, but diver down, fair warning and even 1984 also got lots of play. there was never any tension over roth/hagar. sort of how it never bothered us about bon scott/brian johnson. i only became a music nazi when i left the suburbs. sometimes not knowing what you don't know is the only thing that keeps you young. anyway, these records are great. i wish i still had that cj. jeeps were great for cruising and picking up, or even just sitting in the school parking lot for smoking and making plans. for some reason, thursdays were the best night back then. i just throw that in as an incidental.
years later, in paris, i saw halen and bon jovi together. in paris. le grotesque.
when we used to drive to grand bend in the summer, 'dance the night away' was the song. VH is perfect for summers and cottages, that much of their legacy is secure. "van whalen" covered them at the hotel bar one year. that was the golden era of cover bands i think. altho, get any distance out of 416 and if you can play CCR, you can make a living.
michael anthony was famous at their live shows for pouring bottles of JD down his neck to punctuate his bizarre bass solos. now it seems like vaudeville, but back then, we dared each other to try it; to gross effect. grand bend is where i saw my first texas mickey. 'big as an execution', that's what they said. one gallon of whiskey. it's amazing i remember even that. about ten years after the last time i was there (the bend), i was working a van halen show at the amphitheatre in toronto. i think it was gary cherone by then. I was assigned to Anthony's bass tent. I discovered that the jack daniels bottles he would famously chug were no longer (if they ever were) filled with jack daniels and his sound tech was the only one bumping naughty salt. plus, eddie's marshalls were, save one, all hollow showpieces. (which at least made them easy to load) i wish i didn't know these things. (i also wish i'd never seen elton john naked but what's done is done.)
anyway, these songs really bring it all back (especially unchained). ha. i just remembered another thing: i found out about collateral damage that summer at Coco's when some guy hit me in the face with his elbow as he went to punch some other dude in the face. broke my glasses. Very emasculating to rummage around a beach bar dance floor in search of a lens. i'm pretty sure panama was playing. that might have been the same summer i lost my other pair of glasses in the lake. not to mention i think that was also the year i flunked out of university. no wonder.
(one break, coming up!)
"you know, you're semi good looking". that was our favourite lyric. i had a black cj-7 with a cassette stereo... i think 5150 had just come out, and between me and my friends we could pool pretty much all their records. 5150 had some killer tracks, but it was also sappy (not as bad as ou812 though. that was pretty much the last record i owned of theirs). for a while, women and children first was high-rotation, but diver down, fair warning and even 1984 also got lots of play. there was never any tension over roth/hagar. sort of how it never bothered us about bon scott/brian johnson. i only became a music nazi when i left the suburbs. sometimes not knowing what you don't know is the only thing that keeps you young. anyway, these records are great. i wish i still had that cj. jeeps were great for cruising and picking up, or even just sitting in the school parking lot for smoking and making plans. for some reason, thursdays were the best night back then. i just throw that in as an incidental.
years later, in paris, i saw halen and bon jovi together. in paris. le grotesque.
when we used to drive to grand bend in the summer, 'dance the night away' was the song. VH is perfect for summers and cottages, that much of their legacy is secure. "van whalen" covered them at the hotel bar one year. that was the golden era of cover bands i think. altho, get any distance out of 416 and if you can play CCR, you can make a living.
michael anthony was famous at their live shows for pouring bottles of JD down his neck to punctuate his bizarre bass solos. now it seems like vaudeville, but back then, we dared each other to try it; to gross effect. grand bend is where i saw my first texas mickey. 'big as an execution', that's what they said. one gallon of whiskey. it's amazing i remember even that. about ten years after the last time i was there (the bend), i was working a van halen show at the amphitheatre in toronto. i think it was gary cherone by then. I was assigned to Anthony's bass tent. I discovered that the jack daniels bottles he would famously chug were no longer (if they ever were) filled with jack daniels and his sound tech was the only one bumping naughty salt. plus, eddie's marshalls were, save one, all hollow showpieces. (which at least made them easy to load) i wish i didn't know these things. (i also wish i'd never seen elton john naked but what's done is done.)
anyway, these songs really bring it all back (especially unchained). ha. i just remembered another thing: i found out about collateral damage that summer at Coco's when some guy hit me in the face with his elbow as he went to punch some other dude in the face. broke my glasses. Very emasculating to rummage around a beach bar dance floor in search of a lens. i'm pretty sure panama was playing. that might have been the same summer i lost my other pair of glasses in the lake. not to mention i think that was also the year i flunked out of university. no wonder.
(one break, coming up!)
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
charlie v
in the old days, when a pigeon was winning, you'd switch the dice. then, when the mark throws the win, the crooks would accuse the innocent of cheating. they'd tell the mark he was lucky to get out alive. when you want a thing, sometimes it's best to try not to have it.
come back charlie v!
come back! i can't move to milwaukee!
come back charlie v!
come back! i can't move to milwaukee!
Saturday, July 08, 2006
recreate
pictures through windows
never work out
you're always stealing,
my dear don't think of it as
stealing.
never work out
you're always stealing,
my dear don't think of it as
stealing.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
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